One week of vacation, getting up at 10:30 everyday.
One long drive back from the beach.
One glass of wine to get over the drive.
One morning of getting up at 6:30.
Sixty One emails clamouring for my immediate attention.
All equals one cup of coffee that I should not be drinking. SIGH.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
the greatest thing about the United States
Toilets that flush automatically. No need to remember to flush. Just think, all those hours my Mother spent training me, each time she asked: "did you flush?", wasted! Unnecessary! I just know that it was a Mother who came up with the idea of self-flushing toilets! it is one of my favourite topics to tell people about overseas. Also - tissues with lotion! Genius! Bet you a Mom came up with that one too!
Of course these things do have their downsides. For example - the loos at work are a little boisterous. I believe the idea behind self flushing toilets is that they save water. Well I think the loos at work are scared of humans and flush in panic. I open the cube door:'OMG a human!', - flush! I turn around to start undoing my belt:'yikes what's it doing?' - flush! I sit: 'OMG it's sitting on me!' - flush!
At which point I start to get annoyed, not only because of the waste of water, but because now my bottom is wet. AND THEN, when I am done, I stand up... nothing. I do up my belt... nothing. I wave in front of the red light... nothing. I open and close the door to the cube a few times... nothing!! It's as if the commode is in shock. Eventually I give in and press the teensy weensy button provided... flush! And now that it is on a roll... I Open the door; 'She's leaving!' - flush! close the door: 'Yay' - flush! wash my hands: 'phew' - flush! like I said, boisterous, but in principle, the best thing about the United States.
Of course these things do have their downsides. For example - the loos at work are a little boisterous. I believe the idea behind self flushing toilets is that they save water. Well I think the loos at work are scared of humans and flush in panic. I open the cube door:'OMG a human!', - flush! I turn around to start undoing my belt:'yikes what's it doing?' - flush! I sit: 'OMG it's sitting on me!' - flush!
At which point I start to get annoyed, not only because of the waste of water, but because now my bottom is wet. AND THEN, when I am done, I stand up... nothing. I do up my belt... nothing. I wave in front of the red light... nothing. I open and close the door to the cube a few times... nothing!! It's as if the commode is in shock. Eventually I give in and press the teensy weensy button provided... flush! And now that it is on a roll... I Open the door; 'She's leaving!' - flush! close the door: 'Yay' - flush! wash my hands: 'phew' - flush! like I said, boisterous, but in principle, the best thing about the United States.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
meeting misadventure
Today I re-discovered the un-enviable position of falling asleep in a meeting. Or rather, trying NOT to fall asleep in a meeting. There were only three of us, so no dozing in the back of the conference room for me. No legs out in front of me, arms folded high on my chest and eyes delisciously closed for a nap.
No, no, I had to contribute, or if not contribute, at the very least I had to keep my head where it should be: on my neck and not on my chest. For a while I tried keeping notes to keep me awake. But that had me looking down, and down meant chin on chest and that was just a natural position for a nap, may as well just have laid my head on my notebook.
Second I tried flexing my calf muscles, I have heard that getting the blood flowing will keep you from falling asleep. But how do you clench your calves without clenching your buttocks? It started to look like I was desperately holding in a pee and was getting some worried looks from my boss. So I decided I would practice that one when back to my desk and no one would be concerned with me gently bobbing up and down in my seat.
Third I tried the deep breathing trick, get oxygen to the brain and all that. Well, either I was breathing wrong, or I don't have a brain, but that just made me feel more like taking a nap.
So, maybe I should allow myself to have a cup of coffee before going into a meeting. It's just so embarrasing when your head suddenly jerks up and you blink and squint at the same time and the other two people in the room seem perky and smart.
yours in continued caffiene deprivation
No, no, I had to contribute, or if not contribute, at the very least I had to keep my head where it should be: on my neck and not on my chest. For a while I tried keeping notes to keep me awake. But that had me looking down, and down meant chin on chest and that was just a natural position for a nap, may as well just have laid my head on my notebook.
Second I tried flexing my calf muscles, I have heard that getting the blood flowing will keep you from falling asleep. But how do you clench your calves without clenching your buttocks? It started to look like I was desperately holding in a pee and was getting some worried looks from my boss. So I decided I would practice that one when back to my desk and no one would be concerned with me gently bobbing up and down in my seat.
Third I tried the deep breathing trick, get oxygen to the brain and all that. Well, either I was breathing wrong, or I don't have a brain, but that just made me feel more like taking a nap.
So, maybe I should allow myself to have a cup of coffee before going into a meeting. It's just so embarrasing when your head suddenly jerks up and you blink and squint at the same time and the other two people in the room seem perky and smart.
yours in continued caffiene deprivation
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Time IS relative
3:17pm - For my bank account and my waistline (or my butt, or the flabby bit under my arms) I am attempting to give up coffee. Which should not be that hard to do. I only have one a day, at the beginning of the day, and I don't think coffee is actually addictive. right?
3:18pm - It is now 3:18 and I am convinced that a. green tea is no flavour substitute for a moccachino, b. 3 cups of green tea does not one cup of coffee make, and c. Einstein was right. Although I have an improvement to make on his theory. It is also possible for time to, in fact, flow backwards.
3:20pm - I could swear it was four o'clock, half an hour ago. I even checked the start menu to be sure that my computor clock was correct. Of course, my cell phone clock could be wrong too...
3:16pm - Mmm, maybe FOUR cups of green tea make one cup of coffee?
3:18pm - It is now 3:18 and I am convinced that a. green tea is no flavour substitute for a moccachino, b. 3 cups of green tea does not one cup of coffee make, and c. Einstein was right. Although I have an improvement to make on his theory. It is also possible for time to, in fact, flow backwards.
3:20pm - I could swear it was four o'clock, half an hour ago. I even checked the start menu to be sure that my computor clock was correct. Of course, my cell phone clock could be wrong too...
3:16pm - Mmm, maybe FOUR cups of green tea make one cup of coffee?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Good news about culling
I love it when I can read happy news. This piece is about badger culling in the UK, the general public have come out against it. Yay!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5172360.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5172360.stm
Save the Seals
Just feeling the need to do my bit - the annual culling of seals is about to happen in Namibia. In general, I support the concept of culling, but in this case it is just the kind of stuff to give me nightmares where I wake up needing to be held. The preferred method of culling the younger seals is to club them over the head and then stab them through the heart. This puts me so much in mind of the quote: life is nasty, brutish and short. In this case the death of the seals is nasty and brutish, but not short. Doing something about this is as easy as opening your email. have a look at these sites for some really constructive information and actions to take.
http://www.seashepherd.org/seals/seals_around_the_world_south_africa_latest_news.html
http://www.oipa.org/campagne/seals_namibia.htm
The second site has a petition to sign. I never know whether petitions work, but it makes me feel better to make my mark.
Be warned, the sites are pretty graphic, and probably not something you should look at, at work, or without a tissue box nearby.
As Francois Hugo says on his site: For the seals
N
http://www.seashepherd.org/seals/seals_around_the_world_south_africa_latest_news.html
http://www.oipa.org/campagne/seals_namibia.htm
The second site has a petition to sign. I never know whether petitions work, but it makes me feel better to make my mark.
Be warned, the sites are pretty graphic, and probably not something you should look at, at work, or without a tissue box nearby.
As Francois Hugo says on his site: For the seals
N
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